This is the worst dishcloth ever knitted in the history of dishcloths. But it’s (probably) better than paper towels.

When we unpacked our materials for the annual fishing trip, we realized that we didn’t have a dishcloth. We had plenty of paper towels, so that was OK. Except trying to wash dishes with paper towels is not OK. After trying that one night, I gave up on it and decided that since we were going to be in the cabin for a week, I’d knit us a dishcloth. Fortunately, I brought an in-progress project and some yarn to start another few projects on the trip. My in-progress project was with sock yarn, so that was out of the question for making a dishcloth. My extra yarn was bulky yarn that I had intended on using to make hats for us on the trip. Making hats on the trip was ambitious, but if we got caught in some horrible fishing conditions and ended up spending hours in the cabin, it might have happened.

Instead, I requisitioned some of the hat yarn to make a dishcloth.

Horrible, horrible yarn choice, but that’s all I had. Have you ever knit a dishcloth with bulky yarn? OK, maybe so. But have you ever done it with yarn whose major component was acrylic? No, probably not. It was very loosely knit, since all I had on the island were 1.5s and 11s. The good news is that it was a quick knit. We were washing dishes with it the 2nd day.

The design is a standard stockinette improvised dishcloth. Garter edges and a big field of stockinette in the middle. I got bored, so I decided to spell “FISH” in the cloth as I went along. That was fun.

The best part about this crappy dishcloth is that it served as a gauge swatch for the hats I was intending to make. Good thing, too -- I was getting 12 stitches over 4 inches instead of 14 stitches. So that helped me know how I needed to modify the hat pattern.

Again, I cannot emphasize enough how horrible a dishcloth this is. Don’t ever try to knit a bulky acrylic/wool dishcloth. When I showed it to my wife, she said it was probably like washing dishes with a sweater. She’s pretty much right.

But it’s (probably) better than paper towels. And I got to feel like MacGuyver. And the story will be funnier every time I tell it.